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| by Roger T. Pipe |
June 1, 2000
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| Can you believe it's Memorial Day? It seems like only yesterday we were breaking out our winter clothes. Of course in SoCal, that means jeans and the occasional sweatshirt, so it won't be a huge adjustment. This is the time when the days are longer, the sun bronzes exposed, nubile flesh on the beaches and lines of theater-goers stretch around the corner as people wait to see the newest would-be blockbuster.
Since I'm always trying to expand the scope of this column, I'm going to give you my own little summer movie preview, in and around the usual porn gossip and stuff.
This month was a big month for interviews.
I got to sit down with the owner of Elegant Angel, Patrick Collins. As always, he had plenty to say about the business, his relationship with former employees and offered his thoughts on a number of his contemporaries. Then I got to interview with adult performer Jon Dough.
Jon also offered some great insight on the business, though wasn't nearly as nice to look at as his gorgeous wife Monique DeMoan.
Finally, I got to sit down with Tom "The Icon" Byron. In a two hour interview, Tom covered his career from start to finish, from his much rumored relationship with Traci Lords to his partnership with Rob Black. Be looking for all three interviews soon.
Some of the things Patrick talked about included the big happenings at Elegant Angel. Charlene Aspen will star as the lead character in "Buttwoman 2000." Alexandria Quinn is set to be the new Slutwoman and Elegant's new contract girl Tiffany Mason should make her debut as well. Also in a new Elegant release is tall blonde personal fave Trinity. Her first scene shot in Las Vegas kicks off "Filthy First Timers 17." The Cookieman gets a great blowjob from Trinity and even gets to bang that those big, beautiful boobs.
Remember Alyssa Haven, the super cute, barely legal bad girl I've been telling you about? She's still around, now going by just Haven. While still very hard at work, Haven has been getting a lot of attention from some big companies about a possible contract.
Which companies? VCA is down to just a couple of contract girls and could sure use this fresh faced beauty. Sin City execs are saying they have two new girls ready to go. (Though sources say both new contract girls were in Cannes and I know Haven was here in SoCal.)
I know for a fact Wicked Girl Serenity has the hots for Haven, giving her at least one vote to join the Wicked team. And what's with this single name stuff? That sounds an awful lot like Viv…..nahhhh. (Just remember, no matter who gets her now, I told you about her first.)
During my interview with Tom Byron, we talked about the new Extreme venture into the world of professional wrestling. XPW (Xtreme Pro Wrestling) has signed with the America One cable network to bring their shows into the living rooms of America. I've actually got tickets to see a show this weekend at the LA Sports Arena. Knowing what a showman Rob Black is, it's bound to be a good time.
Three of America's biggest radio personalities are in the news this month. No, this isn't entirely a porn related story, but Rog can not live on smut alone. Porn's favorite radio guy Howard Stern is said to be milling over a new contract offer from his bosses. How much are they willing to fork out to keep him on the air? How does five years, one hundred million sound? Twenty million a year for farting and telling tit jokes? I guess there really is a market for LCD humor.
ABC Sports is also said to be looking at Rush Limbaugh as a possible third man in the booth for Monday Night Football. (Go on, insert your favorite fat joke here.) It may seem like a stretch, but before he hit it big in radio, Rush did work for the Kansas City Royals baseball team and is a huge sports fan.
Even more controversial then Howie and Rush is Dr. Laura. Her TV show hasn't even hit the air and already it's the most hated thing on the airwaves. Look, I don't agree with much of what the Doc says. Personally I think most people listen to her just to have someone remind them they are morally superior. However, I find it amazing that all of my free speech friends are so quick to want to shut down any speech that doesn't goose-step in line with what they think.
A quick lesson my protesting brethren, The First Amendment isn't there to protect POPULAR speech because popular speech needs no protection. That said, I am still overcome with the desire to choke the living shit out of the first person who dares spew the words "I am my kid's mom" within earshot.
As I mentioned last month, Wicked bought a script I wrote called "A Dish Served Cold." Thankfully, they changed the title to something a little less likely to make porn fans think of frigid fucks, "Guilty Pleasures." I was also invited to the set to cover the action and see how my words were translated to film. With Serenity and Alec Metro playing the leads and Michael Zen directing, I was treated to a very impressive production. The film was shot at a gorgeous house just north of the Valley.
Zen was a most gracious host, sharing his thoughts on movie making as well as smut. Serenity was wonderful as always and quite impressive in her dialog scenes. Amber Michaels, Kiki D'Aire, Keisha and Chris Cannon also star in this story of a pair of step-siblings scheming against one another.
In last month's column I took shots at some things Mark Kernes said about the net in his AVN editorial. As this month comes to a close, we sadly see that some of what Mark complained about is true. Using the forum section on Mr. Marcus' web site and posting under his name, some douche bag posted a totally made up story about Jenna Jameson being raped and hospitalized. In the frenzy to get the story out, this steaming pile of monkey crap was passed around the net briefly.
What may be more disturbing than the original post is the hate filled racist shit that followed. It makes you wonder just what some people do with their lives that leaves them so much time to do nothing but spread hate.
After six months of talking about it, Xplor finally released Cherries 10, a movie directed by yours truly. (If one can call pointing a camera at amateurs fucking directing.) The movie stars proven porn sluts Layla Jade and Regan Star with newer faces Alyssa Haven, Kayla Foxx and the incredible Skylar Knight.
Metro is said to be pursing blonde Nicole Sheridan as a new contract girl. The nearly six foot blonde has starred in only a few movies, but her long legs, fresh face and bubbly personality have made her a sought after free agent. Hey, she could play Houston's grand daughter in the next Taboo flick.
Linda Thoren has been a very busy beaver of late. Her gang bang movie, directed by Alex Ladd (Of Gang Bang Angels fame) was just released by Sin City, making strokers the world over totally happy. Additionally, Linda can be seen in John Leslie's "Voyeur 16" from Evil Angel. Does that mean an end to Linda's contract with Sin City? Stay tuned.
Jon Dough mentioned a new series he is working on during our interview. Though he is very tight lipped about the title and concept, it will be distributed by the Anabolic/Diabolic team. Let's see, I'm guessing it will have hot chicks, anal sex and a lot of facials. Or, is Jon going to step in where Kahn Tusion left off and bring back a Rough Sex type line? After all the hell Anabolic went through, I'm guessing the butt fucked Euro-chicks angle is closer to the truth.
Since we're hitting on a number of non-porn topics this month, why not take a stab at music for a while. As some of you may already know, the new Britney Spears CD hit the stores this month. Silly as this may sound, I rather enjoyed her cheesy pop debut album. I'm not as pre-disposed to hate the teen queen as many of you are.
Still, this second effort is a pretty disappointing mix of Maria Carey-esque slow jams and bubble gum bounce. For my money, the new Mighty Mighty Bosstones album is a much better listen, though Britney looks a lot better in tight pants than the 'Tones do on their best day.
Speaking of music, did anyone have the misfortune to catch MTV's Eminem special? Did someone forget to lock the door when we kicked Vanilla Ice to the curb? Did I actually hear this no talent dick head bagging on cheesy pop groups because their "rhymes are silly"? Hey Shakespeare, did you know that 'My name is' rhymes with 'My name is'? And we all admire the way you rhymed 'Slim Shady' with 'Slim Shady.' Even Bon Jovi found a way to rhyme 'you' with 'you' seven times in one chorus. Another highlight was hearing him pimp "Free Speech" and "artistic expression."
Hey Lenny Bruce, if saying the word "Fuck" every time you can't form a complete sentence makes you an artist, then step aside fuck head cuz I'm a mother fucking genius. Fucker. Finally, did I actually hear this five foot nothing sack of shit calling out Will Smith. Excuse me Skittles, brother is about a foot taller than you and would beat the inferiority complex right out of your punk ass before you can say 'I used to be somebody.'
If the world has any justice, one of the kids from N'Sync would go Tyson upside his head and put us all our of misery.
Since we're talking about Slim Shady, has anyone ever seen Eminem and Kid Vegas in the same place at the same time?
Both of them have the same haircut, the build of that Lil Green Sprout dude and share the same complete lack of talent, charisma and gray matter. Both seem to think these deficiencies can be overcome by saying the word 'fuck' as often as possible and pretending to be a tough guy. Both of them overcompensate for painfully small pricks with a love of guns and a hatred of women. Kid Shady? EminVegas? I don't know.
There are some strong and well confirmed rumors that someone currently working in front of the camera as a porn slut may have some serious political ties. I'm not talking about some congressman banging a porn bimbo on the side either. Word has it that this unnamed starlet, who is well enough known to be a household name for most porn fans, has family ties to an international political figure. Pardon me for being tight lipped dear readers, but that's as much as I know now and this one is too important to speculate
Elegant Angel is doing its best to give back to the fans. They are currently running a contest with a very enticing prize, a dinner date with superstar Keisha and an erotic massage for dessert. Fans are invited to send in a photo of themselves and a paragraph stating why they deserve to dine with the busty legend of adult films. The winner will be flown to LA and given hotel accommodations in addition to the already stunning prize package. Hmmmm Dear Keisha, I deserve to win because…
As part of the fallout from my Patrick Collins interview, Mike South told his version of things. Mike was with Elegant Angel for a while in 1997 and took exception to Patrick's version of the story. Why do I think we haven't heard the last of this story?
I see the time has come for me to close yet another column. (Besides, I'm over my quota on Houston jokes.) Slip a few dogs on the Q for me, keep the kegs cold and save me a front row seat at the web T shirt contest. Most importantly dear readers, don't forget to turn over every thirty minutes or so. A safety tip from Rog, nothing hurts quite as much as a pair of burned nads.
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