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Well, where do I start? How about Oh My God, this girl is unbelievable!!! I mean, if I'm not the luckiest guy in the world, I don't want to spend time with the guy who is! Anyway, let me tell you about the movie. I flew to Vegas to meet Shane after one of her bachelor parties, and when I arrived at the hotel she had already started without me. Before long, she had me doing things that were so nasty, you'll just have to watch the movie to find out. When my cousin Phil picks us up at the airport, we meet his friend Rebecca. Phil doesn't waste any time showing us Rebecca's enthusiasm for the camera. The next morning I woke up to find Shane's new friend playing kinky games in my bed, and my own camera pointed at me. The next thing I know, I join in the activities and Shane asks me to stop for a second so she can focus the camera. Is she an incredible woman or what!!! Enjoy...I sure did! - Seymore |
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Shane starts this one off by bringing me back some footage from her river trip. After seeing what went on. I can guarantee that I will not miss the nest one!! I met Diva (with help of two little friends) at the park near my house. I introduced myself, and she had actually seen some of my movies. Next thing I know, she's suckin and fucking in my house, on camera!! life is great! as so was diva !!
Next, Shane and Rosie demonstrate what their bachelor parties are like. Wow!! I have a gut feeling there is going to be a sharp increase of marriage proposals this year! Finally I invite my brother and my buddy butch over to watch the football game. When we get to the house we find out shane had made different plans with tabitha and sophie. The "game" ended up in my living room floor and culminates when butch turns our two 'tight ends' into 'wide receivers'. If you know what I mean.
Enjoy...I did Seymore. |
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I pick Shane up at the airport and 'wow!' when I first laid eyes on her, well you'll know what I mean! anyway on the way back to my house, this incredibly sexy girl somehow talks me into takin a trip with her. Next thing you know we are on an airplane bound to puerto vallarta Mexico. After a traditional balcony bang, Shane leads me to a strip club in the middle of nowhere. That's where we meet Nina, a long legged, big busted brunette, who grabs Shane and brings her on stage. Dancing with Nina gets Shane going and the next thing you know Shane starts blowing me right there in the club! After Shane is done with me. She sets her attention on Nina. Needless to say it doesn't take her long before Nina is agreeing to come back to our hotel with us. This is Nina's very first time on camera, and only her second time being with a woman. Hell, I couldn't tell! Both girls are very hot, but when Shane turns to me and says quote 'give me the camera seymore, I want to watch you fuck her' I thought I was going to boil over! I guess you could say this is my very first appearance on camera too!
When we get back to L.A. Shane goes off to find work, while I'm left to entertain Ron and Devon. Devon is a classy brunette who transforms from slightly nervous to blowing me and begging Ron to stick his cock up her ass! Great anal action!!!Meanwhile, not only does Shane find a job, she awakens me to one o the wildest women I've ever met! wait until you meet Shane!!
Enjoy...I Did!! Seymore |
| Seymore Butts Gluteus to the Maximus Porn Review |
| Customer Seymore Butts Gluteus to the Maximus Reviews DVD |
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| Roger's Rating: | |  |
After going so long without any new Seymore videos to watch, I though I was going nuts. Now, with two new ones in one week, I am reminded of why I have crowned him the King of Gonzo videos. Style and sex, blended just perfectly to create a fun, wild, sexy and dirty time without having to dress anyone as demons, choke the actresses, make them chew gum from someone's ass, or spray paint the word "whore" all over the set in a lame attempt to by symbolic at the expense of all women. (Jeez Rog leave anyone out there?) This time, the cast brings Taylor Hayes and Jordan McKnight back from Musical Tushies and adds classy porn vet Shanna McCullough, one of my faves, Alex Dane and a host of newish faces to the mix.
Sean Michaels pops in to start things off with returning beauty Jordan McKnight. (Of course Sean is going to love her, with a name like Jordan. Insane hero worship anyone? Sean, I guarantee this Jordan tastes better than Mike.) She rewards a good tongue job by opening her pretty lips for a taste of his dark salami. Jordan is visibly overjoyed to have it in her hand and jerks it like mad while telling him how much she loves his cock. Fucking fantastic. Damn she looks good sucking on a big cock, and Seymore still shoots oral better than anyone. These two are such a highly charged sexual pair that is a wonder sparks don't fly from Jordan's pussy while she rides his cock. Taking her doggie style, Sean makes her cum loudly then drives her wild by slipping his black tube steak up her tight backroad. He gets her in three anal probing positions, each one bringing louder screams of lust from this incredibly lovely woman. He finally pulls out and shoots a rather good load, which unfortunately misses her face for the most part as she sucks him right out of her ass. Holy shit, Jordan is scalding.
Seymore gets called to join a party already in progress. Once there, he finds Peter North with four young lovelies. These are some new and cute faces which is always nice. From the looks of this new crop, porn fans are in for some great viewing it the near future. Holli Woods is a sweet looking thing getting the business end of a dildo from Alyssa Love. Blonde Katie who looks a bit like rocker Jewel, is giving plastic love to Shay Sweet (Who looks a little like Micky Lynn) who is busy sucking Peter North's cock with her studded tongue. There may be a bit too much new great flesh for one good scene, as any one of these girls deserves our full attention. Lots of dildo and sibain action as the girls have to wait their turn for Peter's cock. Damn, any one of these young cuties could be a huge star, hot bodies, great faces, and willing fuck bunnies. Peter gives these newbies a serious lesson in assfucking with his fat tool. Holli takes the hardest pounding with Alyssa right there to suck it out of her ass a few times, what a cute little slut. Have to give all these ladies huge props for taking Peter in their asses. Nothing like starting out big to move up the smut ladder quickly. Tons and tons of A2M cock sucking, especially while cute Katie gets her little hole plugged. The only problem with four such desirable little cuties is that not even Peter has enough spunk to coat all their faces. He does his best and pretty faces do get jizzed. I want to see all four of these cum hungry coeds again really soon.
The next night, Seymore and the gang throw a surprise party for Tom Byron. With Alex Dane, Ron Jeremy, Shanna McCullough and Alyssa Love there to give him a sound spanking, this party is ready to blow up. Shanna, who for years has been one of the classiest ladies in porn, has gone slut on us. She dives right for Tom's asshole and goes to town. Alyssa, fresh from her super slut debut is joined by the incredibly exotic beauty, Alex to make one hot trio of women for Tom and Ron to spear with their oversized fuck tools. Alex gives Ron's pole a ride while Alyssa shows Shanna what a pierced tongue can do on a prime porn pussy. Shanna has really slipped into the wanton woman role quickly and completely. As she rides the birthday boy, her fingers slide up her asshole, shattering that image she had so long ago. Alex gets a good taste of her pussy by pulling Tom out of her and sucking her clean. I know I have said it before, but I WANT ALEX DANE!!!
Shanna must feel the same way, as she buries her tongue in that sweet asshole while Alex gets good and fucked. Tom enjoys Alyssa so much, that he hogs the sexy nymph all to himself, leaving Ronnie with the other two. With an ass this inviting who can blame him? Queen Shanna sits back and strokes her raven pussy while the two young anal sluts get their butt holes reamed good and deep. Welcome to the big time darling. Not to be left, out, Shanna soon becomes the center of attention, as Seymore goes digging for her squirt spot. Even Shanna's superstar ass is in for a super sized schlong as Ron fills her balls deep with his cock. Tom gets her next, and the lovely porn vet gives her younger colleagues a lesson in how to be a star. Of course, with Alyssa sucking cock right out of her asshole, this nasty little girl may already know all there is to know. For his birthday present, Tom gets to shoot his load into Alex's mouth. She and Alyssa fight for it so much that Shanna gets none. She begs Ronnie for his jizz and gets the first stream on her face, but again the two younger sluts are faster and they suck it from his cock fresh out of her ass. Wow, what a scorcher.
Once he is moved into his new place, Seymore gets a visit from the very beautiful Taylor Hayes. She is there to meet the lovely Melanie, who graced us in "Seymore and Shane- Live on Tour." They take a tour of the house, and surprise, the girls end up on the bed together. Tom pops by and that gets the girls even more excited. Both Taylor and Tom enjoy the tasty of sweet Melanie. Then both girls take turns demonstrating their oral expertise. Taylor is a deep throat master and swallows Tom whole, but Melanie is no slouch in the rod gobbling department herself. Not to let the new girl get the best of her, Taylor lets out all the stops in one of the hottest blowjobs ever caught on camera. Taylor is just too hot for words. She even has her mouth in on the action as Tom fucks Melanie, pulling out and sucking her clean, then letting them resume on several occasions. Mel's husband just stares on in disbelief as his pretty wife gets drilled proper slut. Even as the new girl asks Tom to "please" put it in her ass, Taylor is right there, looking every bit the covergirl, jamming three fingers in her asshole.
That's where the tape ends though, leaving Rog a bit pissed. A scene this good needs to be finished. Give Seymore credit though, it isn't often that a porn video leaves you with a cliff hanger. This is another super hot winner of a sex tape. Seymore is still the King, no question. Shanna McCullough is at her best, nastier than ever. Taylor Hayes is a sure thing, guaranteed to rock your world. Jordan McKnight's scene with Sean Michaels smokes and the quartet of new sluts, most notably Alyssa Love and Katie Gold are pud pounding hose beasts. Bring them back for more Seymore. (At my house would be preferable.)
Submitted by Roger T. Pipe
| Imperial's Rating: | |  |
An example of a talentless gonzo maker is Seymore Butts. Yes, I can hear the horrified gasp (Rog!), as well as the axes being ground (Torris!). But let's face it guys. Seymore has two great assets, which I will not deny: he always secures great looking talent for his videos and he always ensures that everybody seems to be having a whale of a time making them. Indeed, I have never seen such happy looking performers other than in a Seymore video. His enthusiasm is undoubted and apparently infectious. I'm sure this is because he is a genuinely nice person, and this makes it doubly hard to say what I'm going to say next, but well, how shall I put it, when it comes to shooting sex he's an idiot. No, let me be fair: he's a total moron.
I am normally forgiving with incompetence (because it's better than malicious rip-offs) but this is a bit over the top. Seymore must be the single greatest waster of resources ever. He wasted Shane (I recently watched her anal scene in "Busting Out: My best anal" and was frothing at the mouth at the bungled camera work- in short, you can't see a bloody thing). He disgracefully wasted Taylor Hayes with all those endless point-of-view blowjobs. Now he seems to be hell bent on acquainting us with detailed close-ups of the pubic hair of yet another packet of raw sexual energy: Alisha Klass.
Alisha is a bit like Angelica Bella: not as beautiful perhaps, but pretty enough to make you wonder *how* she ended up in porn and so incredibly raunchy to also start wondering *why*. The only turn-off she has (apart from the dumbass tattoo on her back) is the same one that destroys Missy's performances for me: the horrible noise she makes during sex. I love vocal actresses and simply adore dirty talking, but it must be done right. Missy and Alyssa are both sirens, and I don't mean the mythical creatures.
The video introducing Alisha has the idiotic title "Behind the Sphinc Door" and is the follow-up to the last (AFAIK) Taylor Hayes title, "Gluteus to the Maximus". They are both extremely frustrating movies. The girls in both movies are very, very hot and the sex acts they perform are wonderfully raunchy (I like raunch a lot). But there are virtually no full body shots in 4 hours of running time for both titles. The only scene that is watchable in "Gluteus" is the one with Jordan McKnight and Sean Michaels; in "Sphinc Door" (this is *really* a dumb title!) the one with Wendy Knight and two guys and bits of the Alisha-Tom Byron one. That's all. In all other cases, Seymore will happily give you an extreme closeup either of the girl's face or of her butt, but never both at the same time. That may be because the performances seem to have taken place in incredibly small and cramped rooms, but that's no excuse.
What makes this even more frustrating is that you can be positive that the sex would be just great to watch were you only given the opportunity to watch it. I was personally doubly frustrated because "Gluteus" was the first Shanna McCullough comeback movie I had the opportunity of watching, and Shanna used to be a colossal favorite of mine back in the 80s. Despite the passage of time and the stupid and completely unnecessary boobjob she got after her original retirement, Shanna remains a wonderful woman. Now, if only I could actually *see* what she was doing in those bloody scenes.
Submitted by Imperial
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