Roger's Rating:

Reality television is all over the airwaves. All of the major networks are tripping over themselves trying to come up with the next big true-life show. In a climate like that, it only makes sense that porn would reach down deep into the creative wells and find a way to d an X-rated version of one of the shows. There was a feeble attempt to do a porn version of Big Brother, but I have to admit I didn't think Boot Camp would work. Of course, I didn't cound on Rod Fontana being the perfect, and I mean perfect head drill instructor for this little adventure. (I know, you are all used to me saying not so nice things about Rod, but he's onto something here.)

For those of you who don't know what Boot Camp is, I'll set up the porn version for you. We have a class of new recruits, all looking to make it big in the porn world. They are about to get a crash course, taught by the Extreme drill intructors. The girls will all be put through a number of test with the cash prize and an Extreme contract waiting for the winner. Unlike a lot of porn movies that has a game show theme, this one actually has a payoff. If the PR is true, then there will be five of these competitions before we get to see a winner. It should be a lot of fun seeing just what the sick folks at Extreme have in store for these poor young girls.

As soon as the recruits leave the van, they are verbally assaulted by the drill instructors. What really strikes me here is how loud and scary Samantha Sterling is. It's one thing to hear Rod or Luciano barking orders, but this tiny blonde shows that she can scream with the big boys. Fontana gives the opening speech and is absolutely brilliant, barking out orders and keeping the poor girls off balance. One of the recruits actually bails out before he is even finished with this opening speech.

The action movies inside, where the recruits are forced to change into their new uniforms with the drill instructors screaming in their faces. Their first lesson is what must go into a shoot bag. This is more interesting stuff with Fontana and Sterling doing a great job, but at the twenty minute mark of the movie, I did start to wonder when we were going to get to our first sex scene. For the first demonstration, Drill Instructors Luciano and Samantha Sterling demonstrate a boy/girl sex scene. With DI Veronica Caine on hand to give a play by play to the new recruits, Samantha shows them how a full blown porn slut gets things done. She starts out with a very messy blowjob, including some thick streamers. The little tips Veronica gives don't seem all the necessary, but this batch of recruits seems pretty clueless. Sam demonstrates how a true porn star stays in the saddle during a high energy reverse cowgirl. The way they fuck and keep giving directions, this ends up playing more an instructional scene than something to jerk off to. They end up swapping guys in the middle of the scene, but trooper Sam doesn't miss a beat. This new guy fucks her for a while then shoots all over her pussy.

DI's Caine and Sterling lead the girls through a feminine hygiene lecture. All of the recruits are herded into the shower then watch as Samantha gives them a demonstration. Though both are still screaming, Caine and Sterling are still so damn funny I couldn't help but laugh. (I hope they were going for humor, because if not then I'm totally missing the point.) The whole pussy inspections line is hilarious, but you have to see the enema line to really appreciate just how wrong this movie is. I've never laughed so hard watching someone get an enema in my life.

After mess, things get turned up a notch. All of the recruits are lined up. Two of the drill instructors are set to pee into a tube. The recruit that fights the hardest to get to the tube first and drink wins the event. Naturally it's not real urine, but a couple of the girls drink it without knowing. I guess they score points.

After some other fun little adventures, we settle in for the blowjob demonstration. The recruits watch as a Blow Bang movie is being filmed. A rather harsh looking brunette with big fake tis and some scary looking eyebrows sucks her way through a circle of cock. They are to take the lessons they learn on this shoot and apply them in the field later. Some of these recruits are better cock suckers than other, but it's a little tough to get how when you have Samantha still screeching in the background. To make things worse (Or better if you like) one of them gives a huge Technicolor yawn all over the tennis court. Since this is Extreme Boot Camp, she is ordered to get right back in there and suck that dick. After a short break to get yelled at, the recruits go back in to see who can get a guy off the fastest. One at a time, the girls run over to a guy and try to get him off in the short time alloted. It takes all of them to get the first guy off, and they share his load.

Recruit Flick Shagwell is selected to take part in the DP demonstration. She sucks off one instructor while Veronica Caine does the other. I know Veronica is the big contract slut at Extreme, but I don't think there is too much that anyone needs to teach Flick about being a first class cock whore. When both cocks are good and ready, Flick takes them both, getting stretched and rammed with enough cock to destroy most new girls. DI Caine also gets plugged by a pair of cocks, nearly scaring the other recruits with the sheer volume of dick she takes in her well worn holes. She takes two loads on her face.

The big finale takes place on Anal Hil where the girls face their biggest challenge. Each recruit gets a bail of hay and a guy for this final test. The object is for the girls to get fucked in the ass. This isn't just some wimpy ass anal thing, but some extreme ass fucking in the hot sun. when one recruit can't take a big dick in her butt, she is chased right off the hill. If gape ability is a good indicator of future porn stardom, then Flick is going to be a huge star. The action is well shot, but moves around a bit too much to really be great jerk off material. As we go, there is no question that Flick is the queen of this class, taking two in the butt and doing A2M like she loves it.

You would think that this would be the final test, but the girls have to sit through a sexual positions the next day. It's more than a little bit anti-climatic, but it gives Luciano a chance to fuck one of the girl on a sawhorse. It also leads right into a big orgy with all the recruits and some very horny soldiers. Even the DI's in on the act whic fits right in with the rough and impersonal sex we've seen so far. Since the Drill Instructors are busy, they can't yell as much during this final fuck so that helps the strokeability of the action. I still say that only Flick is ready to fuck with the likes of Caine and Sterling, but a few of the others have clearly benefited from their time at EBC.

This tape ends with a commencement ceremony with all of the remaining recruits officially passing into the world of porn sluts. With that done, we get to see the panel of judges voring on the top recruit. Rob Black, Tom Byron, Thomas Zupko and Gene Ross are joined by Turd Ferguson for a meeting of the minds. I won't tell you who they pick because that would just ruin it. Clearly, this isn't a normal porn video in that it's not really wall to wall banging. There are some very long segments in between sex scenes and some people may get bored. I actually found these segments to be pretty entertaining and some well done 'reality porn'. Most of the sex scenes are best watched with the sound turned down unless you like the constant screaming from the DI's. More interesting than it is erotic, Extreme Porno Boot Camp does boast award worthy performances from both Fontana and Sterling. I'd like to see them both nominated when it comes award time and if there are to be more EPBC movies, I look forward to seeing what they put the girls through.

Copyright © Roger T. Pipe

Posted By Roger, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/5/06 1:58 PM