ShiZ's Rating:

Starring: This film starred Cameo (gee, surprised?), Bianca Trump, Melanie Moore, Tyrrany (I think they mean Tiffany) Million, Flame, China May (who got her name on the box but somehow forgot to show up for the shoot) and Heather Hunter whose name does not appear on the box. Also starring in this sad flick are Tom Byron, Mike Horner, and Morrison.

It's a sad, sad day when I would marvel at the wonderful production values of my little brother's homemeade war movie using toy soldier and firecrackers. Well that day is here! Cameo Appearence takes the spot as he second worst porno I have ever seen (right behind Vixens of Kung Fu, which at least had personality).

Things start of rocky when the first scene begins with Mike Horner trying to talk sexy to Bianca Trump while they stroke themselves. Bianca's beauty is great, but so is Mike's goofiness (not a compliment). They eventualy get down to business but I have seen better sparks fly from rubbing soggy gym socks together. The worst part is all of a sudden we are back to Mike polishing the helmet then spewing all over his stomache without a single drop hitting Bianca's beautiful breasts. The next scene picks things up a bit with Heather Hunter and a short-haired Tom Byron getting it on. Heather is very good looking and she looks nice and tight in this scene, but it is still way below what I expect from my man Tom. He finishes with a mediocre money shot over Heathers flat stomach This is the best scene in the film though (which isn't saying much). Next up is a three way muff dive featuring Melanie Moore, Tiffany Million, and Flame. This scene is so dull they could use it as a seditive in burn wards. To compound the dull action, Flame is so pale she's actually blue (I'm not kidding). It would be a great effect if this was in Sex Wars. . . The final scene bring the stunning Cameo to the screen to get plugged by Morrison. This scene could have been great, but it wasn't. Cameo is beautiful, but she just isn't into it here. There is a little anal action with a money shot on her delicious ass, but it is only the end of a pathetic effort, not the climax of a passionate explosion.

Cameo and Bianca Trump are absolutly gorgeous, and Heather Hunter is damn fine too, it's just a shame they were wasted in this poor mess.

The pace was slow enough to put weaker men into a coma. Then there was the interesting combination of poor camera work wtih lame blocking. . . Oh yea, Blue skinned redheads ('nuff said).

Can you tell I didn't like it? Just trust me on this one, unless you are related to one of the performers you won't like it either. I give it a 5 (why not 0? Well, it does have Cameo, Bianca Trump, and Heather Hunter).

Posted By ShiZ, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/12/06 1:58 PM