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Buttsizer VHS - King of Rears
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Buttsizer Video
Buttsizer Description:
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If I were ever assigned to teach a course of my porn consumer's wisdom :-), my lecture about the 90s one-day wonder and why it sucks would be centered exclusively around "Buttsizer, King of Rears". This 1992 little horror -for it will soon be apparent that it is just that- can proudly claim the title of the "Most Average One Day Wonder Ever". It is no Leisure Time barfulation by any means (these tapes all take 0.00s by default), but it is a showcase of how the glut of modern porn has destroyed quality of the "average tape".
In the 80s, an average cheapo included Candie Evans or Sheri St.Clair or Megan Leigh, had a cute and carefree air, and though undeniably rushed, it could be quite hot sometimes. In the 90s the average video is the pits. This particular one should have never been released. It has no reason to have seen the light of day. It is a textbook case: a cutely punning title; a quite nice boxcover; a cast list with several major cuties (PJ Sparxx, Tracy Wynn, Devon Shire) that of course appear only in one scene each, and if you are unlucky in the same scene as well; a disgracefully misleading blurb that implies that all those lovely gals do anal (I was not fooled of course) when the only active asses are the old anal pros Saki St. Germaine (puke) and Mona Lisa (barf).
The list of woes doesn't end on the boxcover (I wish). The "plot" is not only incredibly inane, it DRAGS. The "actors" show how rushed the production is by simply reciting their lines (screwing up more than once) with all the emotion of a cold fish. Tony Tedeschi wanders around wearing a top hat styling himself as "the King of Rears", supposedly a master of worshipping butts (oh, puh-leaze!). I have not seen such bad acting since I left elementary school.
This silly premise serves to introduce 5 (I told you this was the Most Average Porno) couplings. The only watchable ones are Tracy and PJ getting it on, and Devon Shire doing a b-g. The g-g participants are undeniably pretty and they do smile now and then, but the action is essentially the girls taking turns licking each others' pussy.
The Imperial Verdict: Such tapes have no right and even no market reason to exist any more. The boxcover may fool the first timer, but any experienced renter will steer clear. Furthermore the product has diversified immensely in the last 3 years to address primarily special interest groups; raunch has achieved an intensity and abundance never before imagined, and the "couples crowd" has manifold -if equally bland IMHO- sources catering to its tastes. This specialization has made the generic cheapo tape increasingly irrelevant as well as a disgraceful ripoff.
Copyright © Imperial Reviews |
Posted By Imperial, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/5/06 1:58 PM
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Certificate of Compliance For Buttsizer VHS
Custodian Of Records Buttsizer VHS
(U.S.C. TITLE 18, SECTION 2257 COMPLIANCE)
Primary Producer of Buttsizer VHS: In compliance with United States Code, Title 18, Section 2257, all models, actors, actresses and other persons who appear in Buttsizer VHS or any visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct appearing or otherwise contained in Buttsizer VHS or at this web site were over the age of eighteen years at the time of the creation of such depictions; Or the graphic images of Buttsizer VHS contained within this website are exempt from the requirements of 18 U.S.C. S2257 of Title 18, United States Code and the regulations of 75 C.F.R. §75 because they were produced prior to July 3, 1995. The records required by Section 2257 of Title 18, United States Code with respects to this video tape, and all graphical materials associated there with on which this Buttsizer VHS label appears are kept by the Custodian of Records at the office of the manufacturer at the following location: EVN, 20436 Corisco Street, Chatsworth, CA 91311. Erotic Video Network hereby certifies that Buttsizer VHS Movie is in compliance with the labeling requirements of Section 2257 of Title 18, United States Code, and all commercial resellers of Buttsizer VHS may here upon rely.
Secondary Producer of Buttsizer VHS: In compliance with United States Code, Title 18, Section 2257, all models, actors, actresses and other persons who appear in Buttsizer VHS or any visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct appearing or otherwise contained in Buttsizer VHS Video or at this web site were over the age of eighteen years at the time of the creation of such depictions; Or the graphic images of Buttsizer VHS contained within this website are exempt from the requirements of 18 U.S.C. S2257 of Title 18, United States Code and the regulations of 75 C.F.R. §75 because they were produced prior to July 3, 1995. The records required by Section 2257 of Title 18, United States Code with respects to this video tape, and all graphical materials associated there with on which this Buttsizer VHS label appears are archived for and on behalf of Excalibur Ent. Inc. by the Custodian of Records at the office of the manufacturer at the following location: EVN, 20436 Corisco Street, Chatsworth, CA 91311. Erotic Video Network hereby certifies for and on behalf of Excalibur Ent. Inc. that Buttsizer VHS Film is in compliance with the labeling requirements of Section 2257 of Title 18, United States Code, and Excalibur Ent. Inc. may here upon rely.
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