Roger's Rating:

Someone please, please tell me we aren't going to see Tommy jumping around on stage with his package hanging out to Irish folk music. I don't know if I could handle that kind of horror show. All kidding aside, Tom's formula is pretty well known by now and it just keeps getting better, so what is there to say? The cast this time out, features Jessica Darlin in her first post Elegant video. That should be fun to watch. In addition, Lord of Asses features three new Extreme contract girls, Chandler, Iroc and the incredible Cherry, now tragically billed as Stryc 9. With Jessica and Cherry, I can hardly wait to get things started.

Instead of starting with one of these ladies, Tom opens up with Russian blonde, Elena. Her communication problems actually make for some chuckle worthy moments during the brief pre-fuck interview. When things get started, Elana shows that she is far more sexually appealing than her modest looks might dictate. In other words, she fucks a lot better than she looks. As soon as she gets a C**K in her ass, this rail thin girl turns in a performance that is sure to warm the hearts of even the most grizzled cold warriors. The hot anal sex is even better than a very well shot facial.

Jessica Darlin is next, and thankfully, Tom doesn't waste a lot of time dwelling on her past contractual situations. (If we wanted that, we'd just read it in my interview. We want to see Jess doing what she does best, fuck and suck.) Even though I rather like the haircut Jessica hates so much, I do have to say she looks a whole lot sexier as a blonde. (Dude, she would look sexy bald as long as she has a D**K in her mouth.) My offer, or rather request to see if Jessica sucks as great as I think she does is still out there. (And will likely remain out there, review boy.) There has never been a time when Ms. Darlin didn't give a blistering performance, but I have to think she seriously loves working with Tom. She bounces up and down on his C**K like she's going to die without the feel of his big C**K in her snug love-taco. Of course, Tom is the Lord of Asses and Jessica craves anal sex, so you know they focus on the anal portion of our program. Few women are this incredible when it comes to taking a big bone in their butt, and even fewer look this fucking hot while doing it. Fantastic footage here, especially the modified reverse cowgirl that leaves her short, shapely legs flailing. The final ingredient for this award caliber scene is a volley of sperm fired at Jessica's face, coating it in goo so we can savor the shot as the licks Tom clean. Welcome to Extreme Jessica, you're as fucking hot as ever.

New Extreme contract girl Chandler is next, and there is no interview to speak of here. She goes right after his C**K and Tom responds by shoving it up her ass before I can even finish two lines. I know she's a horny little slut Tom, but come on, we wanted to watch her give a nice long blowjob. Don't you ever think of anyone but yourself? Speak and you shall receive, says the director as Chandler alternates for a while between having her buns busted and her mouth filled with C**K. I don't know which is better, the oral or the anal, but happily, this scene ends like the rest, with a big load dripping from Chandler's face.

Alexandra Nice is up next, and bear with me, I'm starting to Jones for Cherry really badly. I'll do my best to give this super sexy, Euro-bim her due. Alexandra is a willing C**K sucker and takes most of Tom in her mouth without even really trying. This girl has skills and Rob Black does a great job behind the camera, letting us enjoy the lovely sight as she gives Tom's well traveled tool a serious working over. From the moment she takes his C**K in her pussy, Ms. Nice shows her anal fixation, fingering her own butt while riding the penile pony. A few too many close-ups for my taste and not enough longer shots during the anal, but still a nice facial finishes off a very hard, hot scene.

Iroc is one of the girls who would be irresistibly cute if it weren't for the tragic ink stains on her legs. Good God, why do chicks do that to their bodies? Since she is into feet, Tom does a little toe sucking and rubbing of her soles, but you can tell he has other things on his mind. Foot guys I'm sure will dig this scene, especially when she starts jerking him off in her arches, but I was honestly totally disinterested. Hell, from that angle, her tats are even more obvious. Good thing the fucking is so good, it took me a while to recover from all the foot sex. The anal sex was going along quite nicely until we have to go in for the monster close up on her gaping asshole. (Warning, don't eat a big dinner before watching this, big mistake.) I much prefer the longer shots and there are too few of them in this scene. The facial does rate high, as Tom rains down on Iroc, a flood of jizz.

Finally, Cherry errrr Stryc-9 (Please, for the love of God and your own career, switch the name back.) gets her chance to shine. Her interview works for one simple reason. This girl is so fucking sexy I could watch her do anything. She is also very charming and completely at ease in front of the camera. In fact, you could say she charmed the pants right off this reviewer. (Figuratively of course, I don't want to make anyone puke at that visual.) As great as she is before the action, watching Stryc-9 take a hard D**K in her mouth is simply stunning. OK, guys at Extreme, my birthday is coming up next month and I know exactly what will ensure great reviews for the next decade. A blowjob from this new little contract girl! (Hey, if people are going to accuse me of selling out, I might as well get something out of it.) I almost don't want to see her fucked just so I can watch her swallow sword a while longer. (By the way Tom, you've got a young hottie with a rack like this, would a little tit-fucking be out of order?) Good camera work during the fantastic fuck, as we get to see Cherry's bod from all angles. Her round ass is just wonderful, and before long, Tom slides from her shaved, puffy pussy and into her tighter than tight backdoor. Again, I don't need the super close up shots all the time. When a woman is this fucking hot head to toe, why focus on a part of her body that looks pretty much the same on every woman? (Except of course, for Mila.) When she goes RCA, at least we get to see a wider shot. Nice move to zoom back in as she opens her mouth for a liquid dessert that leaves Stryc 9 glazed over like a fresh donut. She just moved up another three notches on my top ten list.

How am I supposed to write a wrap up after watching that last scene? Cherry is the bomb!!! (Groan.) Is this the best Tom Byron movie ever? Of course not, but there are a few scenes that will be replayed many times by yours truly. In addition to Cherry, Jessica Darlin lights up the screen. I don't think anyone takes it in the ass like this pint sized bundle of sexual dynamite. The scenes are well shot, for the most part, and all have high sexual intensity. This makes it nice because even if I'm not into a certain chick, I know the sex is hot and you will all find one you like as much as I do Cherry and Jess. Some of the others, Alexandra Nice and Chandler most notably, also give great performances, but I am going to reserve all of my praise for my two faves. All hail the Lord of Asses, but I'll only get on my knees for Jessica and Stryc-9.

Copyright © Roger T. Pipe

Posted By Roger, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/5/06 1:58 PM