After years of reviewing porn, I can't tell you how many times people have asked me if I think I could do it better than the people who make smut for a living. Certainly in his many years as a porn critic, Gene Ross must have heard this same questions more times than he can count. Now he's got a chance to show everyone that he can, or perhaps can't do it just as well as the other guys. (And don't you wonder how many smut makers have been waiting for just such a movie so they could give Gene a taste of his own medicine?) I'm not sure what kind of movie Gene is trying to make, but since all sex movies are all about the girls, he may have a ways to go. Extreme Girl Veronica Caine anchors the cast, but the rest of the girls aren't exactly household names, nor I they likely to be.

Sienna, the cutest girl in the cast, shows up at Extreme for a job interview. Gene gets one look at her and is at a loss for words. (Is that a pig I see flying by my window.) There is some interesting tease as Gene talks to her about the job description. The camera lingers on her legs quite a bit and leers at this young woman in a way we all would if we could get this close. Gene talks to Sienna about doing some foot modeling as he examines her from the toes up. Eventually he gets to her ass, but there is a lot of foot and leg footage here. In the middle of the interview, Gene gets called away. Brian Surewood peeks his head in and quickly takes over rubbing her legs and sucking her toes. Yes, I am starting to get the feeling that Gene won't find the great American ass in this movie. Why? Because he's got everyone looking a few feet too far to the south. Gene comes back, but sees Brian with his fingers in Sienna and takes off. Sienna leaves her glasses on as she delivers a pretty damn good blowjob. We finally get an ass shot when she mounts Brian's cock and starts riding. After a few minutes of vag, he slides his dick right up her butt. When he rolls her over, we get some really good anal shots, but her feet always seem to be in the shot as well. Brian finally pulls out and shoots all over her ass. Anyone want to guess if this chick gets the job or not?

Valentino sits around telling Sarah Jay how badly he wants to work with her. Gene comes up, throws out a few humorous versions of Val's name and then takes Sarah away. He gives her a bit of an interview and goes right after her feet. (Hey, maybe someone fucked up on the box cover art and this movie was supposed to be called the Great American Arch) He gets her out of her clothes and has a close up view of her ass. When Gene leaves to get his tape recorder, Valentino comes in and cleans up what Gene started. Sarah still wants to see his cock and pops it into her mouth as soon as she sees it. By the time Gene gets back, Val is fucking her face and he knows that he's lost another one. Val gets behind Sarah and plays with her big ass. This girl may not be that good looking, but she does a nice looking pussy and that has to count for something. In spoon we get a good view of the pussy, but also of her very soft belly and thick thighs. He does some nice tit fucking and then shoots all over her tight asshole.

Gene swings by to see Veronica Caine to do an interview with her. He is impressed by her business suit and glasses. They talk a lot about her wrestling career and her web sites. Eventually the conversation turns to whether or not she wears panties. Gene offers to help Veronica with some of her web site troubles. She lets him check out her ass in some rather sexy tease footage that actually involves her ass. Just when we think Gene is going to score, there is a knock at the door. It's Rod Fontana and he's a little upset. You see, Gene is parked in his spot. He runs out to move his car and in that short time, Veronica decides that Rod is the guy who is going to get into her panties. (Ain't that always the way, you help a chick out with her web stuff and she doesn't put out- sounds like a few chicks I know.) They go upstairs and Veronica (still in her suit and glasses) starts sucking on his thick cock. There aren't a lot of ass shots, but in the middle of the blowjob, she sticks her foot in Rod's mouth. Hell, she even gives him a foot job, which of course thrills Rod to no end. He rolls her over and drops the hammer on that pussy, slamming it with his whole cock. Great energy when he rolls her over onto her belly and pounds her into the mattress. This is a nicely shot scene with some more foot and toe angles and a popshot on her feet that leaves Veronica licking cum from her toes by the time Gene returns.

Gene is on the set, getting Mr. Pete ready for a bondage shoot. Randy Strom comes by as the building inspector and makes Gene squirm a bit as she inspects the place. Gene hits it off with the brunette and is all set to finally close the deal. Of course she wanders in on Mr. Pete and suddenly finds herself in the middle of the movie. He bends he over, pulls up her skirt and starts slapping her big ass. She struggles for a while, fighting him convincingly until he finally just shoves his cock in her mouth. Leaving her clothes on, he bends her over again and starts fucking her hard from behind. They stay in this position as he moves to anal. This is a harder scene than the others in the movie, so if that turns you on, you will want to check it out. Randy takes it in the ass deep and still looks like she could wear Mr. Pete out without breaking a sweat. They finish with a long piledriver sequence that leads to a pop on her stretched asshole.

Finally we get Brooke Hunter, who is apparently Gene's attorney. He's trying to explain what happened with Randy. She wants to help him, but Gene can't take his eyes off of her feet. Brooke notices that Gene is tense and starts giving him a massage. Things are about to happen, when her husband comes home. Gene scrambles under a pinball machine while Brook nearly attacks her hubby. The blonde drops to her knees and takes his thick cock in her hands for a decent blowjob. Brooke isn't all that pretty, but she shows good energy as her guy goes down on her. (Both of them are thick enough around the middle to make me fit as a fiddle.) They fuck on top of the pinball machine, with Brooke taking it up the ass. (Tight shots from this angle are not kind to her stretch marked thighs.) When they get on the floor, she shows nice flexibility as they finish in a piledriver where he pops all over her pussy and ass.

There is a lot of good stuff in this movie, especially if you are into feet. It almost plays like a Rod Fontana flick for much of the action. If you like this sort of stuff then you're going to very pleased. It's not really an 'ass' movie per say though there is a lot of anal action going on. What I liked best about this movie was the way Gene plays a rather funny character who just can't quite get all the way the girls. Better caliber girls would have been nice, though Sienna and Veronica do very good scenes in this movie. Better chicks would have raised the overall rating a few points. I don't know if Gene proved that porn critics can make movies as well as the people they review, but he did show that porn critics can't get laid to save their lives.

Copyright © Roger T. Pipe

Posted By Roger, www.excaliburfilms.com | 12/11/06