It's been a little while since we've seen Tera Patrick in a new feature. From the looks of this cast, she's been out of the country working on another big budget movie. I have no idea if this movie is going to be any good, but I have to that the box cover is fucking awesome. Tera looks great in the shot and the image quality is far above that of normal porn movies. From the looks of the opening scene, director Joone has pulled out all of the technical stops for this movie. (If only he could have hired a death chamber where an old man is attached to a machine that looks like something out of a Marilyn Manson nightmare. He wants Tera to tell him dirty stories and that's how we begin.

Tera tells classic tales and we get to see the X-rated version. Her fist story is of an ancient general who vanquishes the enemy to win the heart of his queen. (It's more fleshed out then that, but don't you want me to go to the good stuff?) Before the sex, we do get to see a bit more of the technical brilliance that is sure to win this movie some statues. The computer generated creature and castle may not make George Lucas jealous, but for porn, they are well beyond state of the art. With torches all around, Tera welcomes him home and offers him her body. This bright guy spends a lot of time sucking on her perfect tits before moving down. I'm a bit of a traditionist when it comes to sex scenes, so I would like to see a bit more light on her body, but you have to appreciate the way this is shot. I don't know if it's appropriate for a Queen to kneel and suck cock, but Tera sure does and we should all be glad. Great hand action as she gets him going, rubbing that dick on her gorgeous face. Odd to see condoms in a piece like this, but he does put on one. There is a tight shot of Tera riding that is very nice. She is so tight and that butt just begs to be spanked. On her back, we get the perfect view of her tits bouncing as he fucks her. The guy seems to be having some wood problems, which just makes no sense to me. He manages to keep it hard long enough to fuck her for a long time from behind, finally shooting a load all over her butt. This scene is shot with couples in mind, but there isn't the slow motion that I hate so much.

In between stories, we get some more visual effects. Tera's metallick hand is one hell of a shot. She goes into another story that takes place in a castle. These two Euros are in full costumes, but soon work their way down to nearly nothing. I love how all the ancient babes all had nicely shaved bushes in these flicks. The woman has light brown hair and pretty face. She also seems to really enjoy sucking balls. The guy she's with has a big cock and rams it into her as she stands with one legs up on his shoulder. Though the girl isn't as beautiful as Tera, I do like the way this scene is lit. It's a tad more conductive to good stroke material in spite of the minor slo-mo. He even slips that big cock up her tight ass. He pulls out and shoots all over her ass. (Check out how old it is, you can see thier breath.)

Tera goes on about sins and dsires and how much fun Jezebel would have had without people around to judge her. Hell, if Jez looked like Tera, it's no wonder every man in town wanted to fuck her. In comes a guy who opens her cell door, rolls her around in the hay and finds his way up her dress. Working his mouth down her neck, over her perfect skin, he finds her inviting slit. His cock is already half hard when she curls up and start sucking it in her lovely mouth. Sadly, this great sight doesn't last long because he's dying to get up in that tight little pookie. Not that Tera looks bad in doggy, in fact she looks really good that way, especially her boobs. There is some good energy as they really get going, adding sexual heat to the obvious eye candy. The cumshot isn't capture very well, almost as if the guy shot before he was supposed to. Still, it's a nice looking little scene.

Still following the same character arc, we get Tera in the stocks. A guard sees her in this vulnerable position and starts feasting on her luscious ass. He finally decides that fucking her would be easier if he set her free. Happy to be out, Tera gladly returns his kisses. Once he gets her tits free, it's like he's won the lottery or something. Someone needs to tell me how any woman who looks this good sucking cock (and is willing to do it) could ever have gotten in trouble. Right there in the square they start fucking and I'm sure that every one watching is ready to join in the fun. When he pulls out, this guy shoots a big load all over her ass. (Too bad his wad didn't go on that perfect face or the overall score of this movie would have gone up at least two points.)As the stories continue, we take a break from Tera and watch another couple of Europeans get it on. The lighting is dim in their little hovel, but the fire provides warmth and lights the way for him to find her button with his tongue. She's a decent cocksucker, though not as pretty in the face as the rest of the cast. They move closer to the fire for some doggy fucking. This scene isn't terrible, but it sure makes me miss Tera.

She finally makes it to freedom and you'll never guess what she does first. Those of you who said she finds a guy to fuck get two bonues points and don't have to wait in line. The background chanting is getting a bit much, but watching him suck on her delicious breasts is reason enough to put up with anything. She's spread out and open for his mouth. It looks like she is really glad to be out because Tera puts a whole lot of effort into this blowjob. With the midday sun beating down on her face we get to see all of the action as she strokes his shaft and licks her balls. I could watch her do that all day, but he wants to enter her from behind. Watching him give it to her I just wonder why this guy wasn't looking to spring her sooner.

Which do I talk about first, the very cool computer graphics or four Tera Patrick scenes? How about we go with the former. Joone has created a very interesting backdrop for what is basically a costume porn. The Tera arm thing is very cool, though I'm glad they didn't have her do a scene like that. Talk about a hand job from hell. I would have loved to see more of this kind of scene, maybe building up a story with the castles and creatures. Instead we have Tera telling stories and that's good enough. The European cast is pretty decent and a few of the guys give it to our star pretty well. I have been spoiled watching porn on DVD, so I want to see how good the picture is on disc. It's pretty good here, with some dim scene that are done that way on purpose. Sexually, it's still for couples, though without the wall to wall slow motion that always kills the heat. That just leaves Tera. Are these her four best sex scenes? Probably not, but I can't remember a movie where she had more sex and that's a good thing. The couples friendly sex doesn't always show off her energy, but the eye candy factor is high. It's always good to see Tera back and this one is a must-have for fans that is sure to be a big hit come award time.

Copyright © Roger T. Pipe

Posted By Roger, www.excaliburfilms.com | 11/1/06

Mr. Happy's Rating:

Starring: Tera Patrick, and many unknows. I find this to be a difficult movie to rate. As to their performances, they are all very professional. That is a plus and minus. Too much professionalism can come across as cold. This manages to be a coulples film, and my wife enjoyed it, more than I did.

They were outstanding! This is a landmark film in that respect. These guys incorporated digital fantasy elements (castles, bats, etc) with porn. This is no film over a weekend type deal. This film looks like the attempt was to make Hollywood quality in an adult film. They succedd at it as well.

This is the tough part for me. I found the sex scenes to be much too formulaic for my taste. Each scene a twosome and started with kissing, cunnilingus, blowjob, missionary, doggy, etc. It also had lots of head shots, which bore me. On the plus side, the girls are gorgeous, and an attempt was made to get decent looking guys (which my wife appreciated). There were two anal scenes, and Tera was in one of them. She appeared in 4 In conclusion - if you are looking to get your wife interested rent this movie. To watch alone - check out Seymour Butts.

The production, lighting, scenes etc were the best I've seen in an adult film. They compete well with Hollywood. The actors were attractive, and the sex was well shot. Tera's anal was the highlight of the film, and she gets slammed hard, and takes it well.

I guess I could have used less predictable sex scenes, and more spontaneously, such as can be found in gonzo films.

As a couples film this is a 10. For single guy porn hounds, probably a 5.

Posted By Mr. Happy, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/12/06 1:58 PM