Roger's Rating:

By the time the third part of this ongoing series of videos came out, John Leslie had become overshadowed by his rising superstar female costars. In the original, which I do not have to review, but saw many years ago, Traci Lords played the Mermaid in this take of the Tom Hanks/Daryl Hannah movie 'Splash'. The way the video producers got around Traci's little prank, was to cut out her scenes and insert Lisa Deleeuw. This may be the most tragic mistake ever. Not only is Ms. Deleeuw about a hundred pounds heavier than Ms. Lords, she also made Traci's mediocre acting performance look like an Emma Thompson classic. I realize they had to do something to salvage what was a great movie without Traci, but this was a terrible choice.

John Leslie is back as Jack, the foul talking slickster who makes a habit out of seducing all the unattainable women he can. By now, a lot of the edge is gone from his character and this one plays like the slapstick film it mimics. The intercutting between the original film and the reshoot cheap video stock is a bit distracting, but it's the original stuff you should be watching anyway. Jack and new sidekick Jamie Gillis are at a nudist colony, watching the bevy of young women (Including Crystal Breeze and a young Debi Diamond) going through their workout. A rather snooty activity director, Rikki Blake tries to remove them from the pool area, only to be confronted by his hardon. With Mermaid Lisa watching to get some tips, Jack tracks Rikki down and works his harsh charm on the pretty blonde. (Whoa, is anyone else getting a grown up Susan Olsen thing from Rikki?) Elsewhere, Jamie Gillis and wife Colleen Brennan proposition Jack with a plan. Their son, Tom Byron, is having some problems staying focused and they want him to fuck Tom's girlfriend. Jack reluctantly agrees, but Tom hears the plan. In a strange twist of porn fate, Tom's girlfriend, Ginger Lynn, happens to be harboring the Mermaid. She and her roommates are having fun teaching the little Mermaid even more new words, like "Titties" and "Pussy." The vocabulary lesson goes on outside while a frantic Tom tells Ginger of the master plan to break them up. Ginger assures her man that he has nothing to fear, and to emphasize her position, she fishes his cock from his pants and goes to work as only Ginger can. Of the thousands of porn stars I have seen, few can even hold a candle to Ms. Lynn when it comes to sucking cock. She is beautiful, uses tremendous eye contact, tongue action and talented hands to make every blowjob an experience to be savored for her costar and the viewer alike. Tom rewards her by sucking on her sweet, tight pussy until Ginger explodes into one of her trademark climaxes. (Eat your heart out Teri Weigel.) With her perfect body now warmed up, Tom hops right on top and fucks the petite blonde superstar good and hard, before she pushes him onto his back so she can grind her way to another orgasm. Showing the form that has made her legend, Ginger slides down his body to suck and jerk a big load right into her mouth and all over that almost too pretty face. Traci who?

When Jack comes by to take his shot at Ginger, he finds Lisa instead. There, he discovers her secret identity and is stunned into utter silence. Searching for answers, Jack pays a visit to Amber Lynn. After a brief bit of implied force, Amber smiles up at Jack and welcomes his advances. You see Amber is a marine biologist (Yeah, right.) and Jack need some info, but first, Amber wants to be fucked. The young Ms. Lynn is pure physical perfection and her slow strip tease is killer sexy. Jack moves in to show her just how much he enjoyed it by diving between her delicious thighs. When she asks him to fuck her, who is Jack to say no? Amber may have a developed a reputation over the years for being a mega bitch, but she was nothing if not an exquisite fuck. Her tits are perfect for fucking and make a nice target for a thick load of goo. A meddling schmo happens to overhear their conversation about the Mermaid and he joins the chase.

Young Tom comes home to confront his step mother about her plan to break him up with girlfriend. That is the final straw for Jamie Gillis, who decides it is time for him to leave as well. He shows up at Tom's new place and drowns his sorrow with the help of lovely cuties Bunny and Susan. He only gets to watch, which is a bit of a disappointment, but the two women really go at each other and this scene is very well lit and brilliantly captured. For those of you who only know Bunny from her recent work, you have to check out how young and sexy she looked here. A complete ball of fire. Susan Hart, one of my underrated faves, has such an inciting ass, that Jamie comes on over and gets in on the fun. Susan gives one of her all out blowjobs, while sexy Bunny rides his face. Even a porn vet like Jamie has to appreciate these two nymphs. After they both get fucked and share a great double suck job, Susan strokes a load from Jamie all over Bunny's too cute little titties. Great three way.

Before the bad guys can track her down, Jack takes a tumble with his Mermaid friend. In the original, this was the highlight of the tape, with Traci talking dirty and matching Leslie all the way. Now, with Lisa, is just doesn't live up to the rest of the video. She seems so out of place here, but does manage to spout some pretty decent dialog. They finish their fucking just in time to foil the villains and let everything end happily.

This is far and away the lightest of the three Talk Dirty videos. The semi-comedy works most of the time thanks to a pretty decent cast. The loss of Traci would not be missed had they not plugged a pretty lifeless Lisa Deleeuw in her place. Ginger, Amber, Bunny and Susan are more than enough to make this video quite watchable. Pick it up if you can find it.

Copyright © Roger T. Pipe

Posted By Roger, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/5/06 1:58 PM