By now, we all know that this is not Jack's first porno. In fact it isn't even part of his first hundred porn flicks. This line is a rather funny look at porn the way only a truly twisted mind could dream it. Robby D's Jack persona has been through a number of adventures over the years, but the My First Porn movies seem to be kind of special. Why? I don't know. It just seems like it's even funnier than some of the others. It also features two Digital Playground stars, Sophia Santi and Lacie Heart. It also features some eye candy from non-contract players that should be great fun. Sasha Grey is one of the very best performers in the business and she always gives us something fun. Kinzie Kenner is back, ready to rock our socks off. She has done some great stuff for Robbie in the past and always offers us something hot. Throw in Tia Tanaka, who happens to be one of my absolute favorite girls in the biz and this First Porn movie should be smoking hot.

When Jack shows up at Jerry's, he walks right in the middle of a porn star practice session. Jerry want to be a better porn star and Velicity is trying to help him hold back his pop shots. Jack sticks around to film the training session and is immediately taken by Velicity's big knockers. Jerry find a way to make things last for a while. He licks Velicity below the waste for quite a while, allowing her to get juiced up and steal the spotlight. As soon as he tries to put his cock into his sexy girl, Jerry almost loses his nut. For some reason, sticking it in her mouth and having her slide her big tits around his meat doesn't push him over. The tit fucking is really well shot and should probably make his condition worse. Jerry manages to go from her cleavage to her pussy with his orgasm still behind the damn. He manages to fuck her hard enough to make the tits dance on her chest, but blows his wad after just one position. He still needs more practice and Velicity is left totally unsatisfied.

Filming a porn can be a problem. This time around, Jack is supposed to be shooting a blonde couple. Instead he ends up with a couple of performers who don't speak English. Marco and Tia are hilarious as they try to understand Jack's direction. They don't need to speak English to fuck each other. In fact, when Tia starts sucking dick, can anyone tell my why any language at all would be necessary? Marco licks her pretty pussy, getting it all juicy for some hard core fucking. Tia drops her ass down and wiggles her hips to accommodate that big stick. There are some great ass shots and good energy, but also some silly dialog. It made me laugh a little to hear her say "fuck me John Wayne" while Marco is pumping away from behind. Tia gives a great scene and wears a load all over her perfect, perky tits.

Jack's friend Sasha has a pill that should help Jerry in his goal to become a better porn stud. They go inside, he pops the pill and instantly sport wood. With his editor Cody watching, Jack keep the camera in place as the sexy brunette inhales that insta-wood with ease. Following her instructions, he grabs her face and tries to fuck her mouth a bit. It makes her gag a bit, but she actually seems to be kind of playing up the "rough" sex thing. The scene works better when she just climbs up there and waxes his pole with her sweet little pussy. They keep up the rough-ish stuff, but it honestly feels now like they are overdoing it for comedic effect. Sasha is screaming like she's being split in two and encouraging him to do it even harder. It is kind of hot, but also funny to hear her talk this way. They continue during some hot reverse cowgirl and eventually get Sasha's hot little ass in on the action. The end is pretty funny as Jerry takes forever to nut all over Sasha's tits.

Since Jack used Sasha in two movies in a row, he has to find some "new bitches." An ad is placed and he immediately receives a tape from Sophia Santi who wants to be in his movie. She sets up a camera and shows off her charm. This scene feels very different because it's solo and because it is more static. If you like tease footage and solo action then be ready for something great. Sophia is just fucking hot. She is gorgeous with a body that was made for porn. Her legs alone are enough to jerk off to for days. Sophia breaks out her vibrator and works it over her crotch before removing it over her panties. Even with the camera sticking on one stop, this is a great masturbation scene. Sophia plays to the camera well and makes this more than just an add on scene. It is worth watching for sure.

When Jack tries to sneak onto a real movie set to shoot his new scene, he gets busted. Lacie Heart is pissed to have porn people on her set and is about to blow up. She agrees to let them shoot a scene, but things don't go as planned. Female performer Shay Jordan shows up late and is too tired to do the scene. What can they do? Why convince Lacie to shoot the scene of course. She drives the price up to two grand and for that, Jack wants an anal scene. No worries though because they tell her that Scott has a "small pecker." They start with some pussy eating that has Lacie in a good mood. She changes abruptly when she spies the size of Scott's prize. Demanding more money, the pretty blonde is going to have to really earn her cash. She doesn't go out of her way to give much of a blowjob which means she is staying in character really well, but it doesn't do much for the heat of the scene. After a short ride, she sucks it a bit and then gets ready for her anal. Her energy level stays pretty low as she struggles like a new girl to take that dick in the butt. Considering Lacie was a Vivid Girl for a while, perhaps she is just remembering how they wanted her to fuck back then. Picking things up a bit, she shows us the kind of eye candy that made Lacie such a fast-rising star. We get some really hot looking doggy as she work hard to open up and let Scott pump for oil between those fine cheeks. He finishes by shooting a load all over a toy they slip in to keep her ass open. Cute scene that is great if you like watching girls become somewhat reluctant porn stars.

As the top ethnic model in the industry, Ariel has high standards. She only works with black men and isn't thrilled to see Eric standing before her. They talk her into the scene, but she just can't get over looking down and seeing a white face between her thighs. In fact, she keeps slipping up and calling him black. This is another example of the sense of humor this movie brings to the table. Ariel just keeps calling his dick "black" and "big." It's pretty funny stuff and eventually Eric just joins in on the joke. They get into some pretty hot fucking on the table with her tits shaking all over her chest as he pounds away with his 'big black' cock. He does have a big load and leaves it all over her tits. The humor in this scene is great even if the action is rather average.

Kinzie has agreed to work for Jack if he can bring Ben English in to do the job. As we wait for the scene we get a bit of good tease footage. It is tough to ever shoot too much tease with Kinzie because she looks so fucking good from any angle. The only rule Ben had was that she keep her shoes on, so the rest of the clothes come right off. He puts Kinzie on all fours, checks out her pussy with his fingers and then turns her loose on his cock. As usual, she sucks cock like it's going out of style, putting on an amazing show. No humor needed here, just good old fashioned smut. It batters the back of her throat, but fits really well in her pussy. The energy I fantastic in this scene. Kinzie and Ben have great chemistry and it translates to a great scene. They get into some mattress pounding mish that leaves them both sweating. It is another body fluid that she really wants though. Ben has plenty of cum for her and he sprays it all over her pretty face and perfect tits. This scene is way too hot to miss, so make sure you stick around for the whole movie.

This is a genuinely funny movie. The set ups are simple and worth a chuckle, but some of the stuff during the sex is downright hilarious. Eric's "big black cock" scene is so funny that you might even forget that it's probably the worst sexual pairing of the bunch. Marco and Tia are great together and funny to boot. That scene rocks sexually and makes us laugh. Kinzie's scene is straight up smut and it kicks ass. Lacie is great in the build up to her scene. She is intentionally cold and rather amusing. The scene isn't bad though Scott clearly struggles to get that big dick into her holes. Lacie struggles as well, but even when she's trying to be cold, she is super fucking sexy. I loved Sophia's solo scene. It looks great and feels genuine. She is the kind of girl that we all love to fantasize about and now we just have to keep hoping she will drop the veggie-only restriction and really show us what she's got. This is a good movie that is great for laughs. It's got some hot sexual moments that should have people laughing as they stroke. It also works as a couples movie if only for the humor. You might be able to sneak this one in with your wife to make her laugh.

Copyright © Roger T. Pipe

Posted By Roger, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/26/07