Roger's Rating:

I'm not a big fan of the wave of porn titles, but this one made me smile. Of course if we want to get picky we could check and see if perhaps the loads are in the whore instead of on her. (Unless they mean the guys and not the loads.) Tim Von Swine has brought in what he calls the “mope squads” to fuck girls. These are guys who usually show up for blow bangs and things like that. We aren't used to seeing these guys from the waist up, but he is giving them a chance to step up and do the job. The real reason to be interested in this movie is the group of four girls Tim has on hand. Hillary Scott is one of the best new girls of 05 and Tiffany Rayne is hot on her heels. Claire Robbins and Amber Wild are also smoking hot so there shouldn't be a bad scene in the bunch.

The first four guys, Brad Baldwin, Alias, Kyle Stone and C Banks waiting impatiently to work with Hillary Scott. This blonde cutie shows off her hot ass and her brand new bolt-ons. Tim wants to shoot POV with her because she looks so good, but he turns her over to the guys. Hillary puts her hands behind her back and launches right into the stomach-churning gag fest that passes for blowjob footage. I don't care how hot a girl is (And Hillary is very hot) this trend in porn is about as bad and anti-erotic as anything in years. Even when she starts fucking, the oral antics and throat noises continue. (And makes it once when there isn't even a dick in her mouth, ooops.) As good as she looks while fucking, this is one of those scenes that is a whole lot better with the sound off. It takes a while to get over the bad start, but Hillary is so hot that the anal action and DP footage really are fantastic. Just about the time this scene is settling into a great sexual rhythm we take a turn right down freak show alley. They do an A2M merry-go-round. In the old days, when Anabolic did this as part of the scene, it was kind of hot. Not it's a planned thing that just looks so robotic and pointless that I wonder why anyone would bother. Hillary wants to swallow cum and as the guys take turns shooting into her mouth she gargles the whole time. This is a scene that features one of the hottest girls in all of porn yet is mostly a disappointment. Freak show shit can't replace sexual energy even when the action stars great female talent.

Tee Reel, Tone Capone, Lefty Larue and Frank Black are the next and they get to work with Tiffany Rayne. It's kind of too bad that Tiff is hitting the scene so late in the year because she should be a strong contender for rookie of the year, but probably won't log enough scenes to win this year and by next year people will have forgotten her in that category. Tim directs the guys to talk trash to her, but thankfully she does more talking than they do. She also manages to suck dick for a few minutes before launching into the horrid seal impersonation. I never call for bans on anything in porn, but I can't wait until we flush out whoever is telling porn chicks that they fake a good blowjob by just making stupid sounds. This pretty blonde does her best to keep the guys hard, but there is some wood trouble in the room. From time to time the guys pick up the chatter, but none of them can out-talk Tiffany. (Good thing too) There is a lot really good action and it is hard to find anyone in porn hotter than Tiffany. Her tight ass gets some serious treatment and we get the best footage of the movie when she is on all fours taking one in her ass and the other in her mouth. See, this is what pisses me off. Tim is a good director with a great cast so when the sex takes over, this is fantastic stuff. After taking all they have to offer, she holds her mouth open and helps drain all of their cocks onto her tongue. As she finishes them off, Tim refers to the guys at the “mope squad” which is pretty funny. This scene is a lot better than the first one, but it still suffers from too much “porn” and not enough sex. (Man I'll be explaining that one for a year.)

When Amber Wild gets interviewed it sounds like David Luger is behind the camera. She doesn't seem all that enthused, but does tell us that she plans to deep throat every guy she works with today. Clearly she wasn't ready for the Insta-Wood crowd and struggles to swallow the first one. Amber does a nice job on their cocks though, sucking without the stupid gag noises for the most part. After making her way down a line of cock, she finds herself surrounded and very busy. Even though Amber is not quite the superstar that Hillary is, her scene isn't bogged down with all the anti-sex side show sounds so it actually stays hotter throughout the action. She lies back on the couch with one dick in her pussy and keeps sucking any other that gets close to her face. I love her sexual energy and the way the action is shot here. Somehow Amber made it through porn basic training without being conned into thinking that she has to sound like a trained otter in order to make a scene hot. It doesn't hurt at all that she has such a great body and a very sexy ass. Said ass gets a major workout again and somehow this scene is now by far the best of the bunch. When it is time to pop, the guys surround her again and take aim at her face. Amber takes some in the mouth, some on the face and finger-feeds herself a whole lot of jizz. This is a great fucking scene and we even get to see her in a short interview at the end.

Claire Robbins looks really hot in tight shorts and she seems to have a really great time during her short interview. The guys come in (another mope squad) and strip the skinny little babe. They start pounding away without any big oral opening. She keeps that cute smile on her face as the guys bang away on her tight pussy. You can almost hear her flip the switch and go from moaning naturally to gagging like a ridiculous parody. It seems that can't remember to keep doing it though, so we don't have to suffer through too much of it. Claire looks great in RC and then opens up her tight ass for deep penetration. There are some good sized cocks working her back door, but Claire never loses that great smile and is too busy moaning like a girl who really loves sex to fake it with the noises. The guys rotate in her ass during some good DP footage. Claire goes air tight with one in her mouth and two pounding her holes. This scene may be even hotter than the last one and if you like facials instead of swallowing, you'll enjoy the finish. Claire takes most of the cum on her face, getting only a little in her mouth.

This is a movie with a great female cast, a bunch of third-tier guys (Affectionately called mopes) and sex that could be really good. If I had to rank the girls before the movie I would have put Hillary and Tiffany at the top of the list and the other two girls lower. At the end of the movie everything is flipped upside-down though. Hillary is still smoking hot (new boobs and all) but she just way too much trained seal noise. Tiffany's scene is also hampered by too much typically lame porn behavior. By the time we get to Amber, her lack of such behavior is a breath of fresh air. She is also quite hot so that scene absolutely rocks. Claire finishes strong and kind of saves the movie. There are two really good scenes, two that should have been great, but are mostly ruined, four hot girls and a whole lot of mope-sex.

Copyright © Roger T. Pipe

Posted By Roger, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/5/06 1:58 PM