Many of us were very excited to hear that Tom Zupko was going to be shooting features again. His move to Hustler (and other sub-labels) made it possible for one of porn's most talented film makers do make movies that were more than just fuck and suck fests. He is going to tease us with the promise of great features for a while though. This release picks up where Zupko left off at Elegant Angel. It even features posteriors that are both large and damp, so take that for what it's worth. I wrote all of this before I saw the movie and I'm doubling back to finish the open after seeing the whole thing. I can't believe how quickly my feelings turned. I'm going to save some of you a lot of time. If you like big asses, great anal sex and really good action, watch the first two scenes and call it quits. The final three scenes offer very little in terms of non freak-show action and may leave you feeling as pissed off as I am right now.

Zupko breaks out the big guns in the first scene, throwing Tiffany Mynx at us. We get a very well shot shower scene as tease. It is beautifully lit and hides just enough to make it actual tease action. From there we go to a solo section where Tiffany talks to the camera and fingers her pretty little pussy. Her hot talk adds to the great visuals as she oils up her ass, getting her skirt all wet as she plays with her famous backside. So far so good as Tony T enters the picture. He doesn't waste any time, sliding his dick into her from behind. Tony is pretty loud as usual, but Zupko keeps in him check. Tiffany is much louder and loves talking dirty while she gets fucked nice and hard. She climbs on top to start the anal and screams at him to fuck her as his cock gets buried right between her hall of fame cheeks. The RCA is exquisite and Tony certainly fucks her as hard as he can. A great anal scene is what we expect from Mynx in an anal flick, but I am more than a little bit upset to see that one of the best cock suckers in the business has her oral skills put on ice for this scene. She does a bit of A2M, but we can't have a great Mynx scene without letting her really let loose with the blowjob.

Lauren Phoenix is the current top-ass in porn and she is a perfect girl to follow up the Mynxter's awesome anal scene. She shows off those buns in a wet-ass tease segment. As soon as the guy shows up, Lauren gives us a few minutes of deep throat action. Always a talented oralist, she makes short work of his dick. From there she hauls that oiled ass up on top and starts riding him. This is an ass movie so you can imagine the great footage that Zupko gets with Lauren riding high atop a hard cock. More than just a girl with a great all, Lauren is a dynamic performer who really shines in anal scenes. She takes everything this guy has with ease and Zupko keeps the focus on both her great butt and the steamy sodomy going on. The guy does her really hard from behind and then rolls her over for a shorter spoon fuck that gives us a nice view of her pussy while her ass gets stretched. Lauren finishes the scene by letting him jerk a load onto her face, scooping the cum up with her finger and giving it a good taste. As big butt anal queens go, it would be tough to top these first two women.

Hillary Scott is much newer than the first two girls and her ass, while excellent, is not nearly as big. She is just as good with her mouth though, at least during the dirty-talking tease sequence. Sadly that sweet voice gets drowned out by gagging and quacking when the guy comes in and fucks the back of her throat. This time Tony T is full misog-mode, choking, spitting and growling his way through a face fuck that is about as erotic as watching someone scoop up road kill. I shouldn't have to say it, but people often misunderstand what I'm saying here. Hillary is sexy as hell, but the type of scene that is being shot here isn't erotic or even sexual on most levels. It doesn't matter who is being pummeled, the scene is just hopeless. (And in this case a huge waste of arguably the prettiest girl in the movie.) When the fucking starts it does get better. Tony plows away on her pussy and only fucks things up when he keeps grabbing for her neck. Starring in a movie with a couple of anal legends, Hillary does a great job of standing out even in this scene. She takes it hard in the booty and stays just as vocal as Tony throughout the action. I suppose there are those who will pick this scene out as their favorite and Hillary gets a ton of credit for doing it well. I know that some directors and some stars have to shoot shit like this to get noticed. I just happen to think that Zupko and Hillary can do just fine actually shooting good sex instead. As hot as she is, this is a dreary dark hole in another wise good film. (It is also a huge waste of great talent.)

We haven't seen much of Reina Leone and Joe Friday since they made the news for being “dirty” (And I mean sexual) cops. She fits in well here, with a nice big ass that gets crammed full of her own fingers during a brief opening segment. Joe steps right in and starts ramming her ass. Reina screams out that she loves t in the ass and encourages him to fuck her harder. It is amazing what a difference it makes when male talent knows how to shut up during a scene. She does very little sucking, just the requite A2M for sport in between hard strokes between her cheeks. That s a bit of a shame, but it leaves her mouth open to keep up the stream of hot talk. (And no blowjob footage is still better than a quack fest/choke fuck.) He rolls her over and oils up her tits, giving them a short fuck as well. After some RCA, she slips his dick back into her mouth, but instead of a great blowjob with lots of eye contact, just tastes it and shoves it back into her butt. Hillary took it harder, but Reina is quite the anal slut as well. She begs him (In Spanish) for his cum and Joe unloads his pistol all over her face. This kind of action with a girl like Hillary would have been a home run. (Though the lack of good blowjob footage is still sinful.)

Nikki Hunter is in the final scene and though she is a big Zupko favorite, I can't say I'm as excited as some of you might be. The tease is really well shot with some interesting lighting and hard-driving music. Adding a touch of oddity to the mix, Zupko has a woman in the walls talking trash to Nikki as she plays with herself. It's certainly strange, but the sex is pretty much what we would expect. Two guys come in and start choking Nikki, plugging her nose and giving her general “slab of rancid beef” treatment. Tony has help for this scene, but he's the only guy in the scene who talks over both Nikki and the creature in the wall. They fuck her face with their hands, their cocks and generally manage to make me wonder more than once how we got to this point. I am just not a fan of joyless sex and I'm not sure exactly what causes this. Again, I can't blame Nikki for the action. She is energetic in the way that shit like this allows her to be, so it isn't her fault. I suppose we could fault the director because knowing Zupko, this is exactly the scene we wanted when the set out to shoot it. Oh man, just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, Tony starts stepping on her head. Is it possible that this is even more gay than double anal? I mean come on, is this supposed to be a turn on for homosexual foot fetishists? Get his fucking foot out of the shot please. On second thought, never mind. It is too late to save this train wreck so open the throttle up and drive the whole bloody thing right off the fucking cliff. To top it all off, this scene goes on forever with no change for the better and a big double facial that thankfully puts an end to it all.

Wow things went downhill fast and they went way, way, way downhill. The first two scenes were pretty damn good. Tiffany and Lauren are great butt babes, awesome anal performers and sexy as hell. The scenes lack good oral footage, but are overall winners. Hillary's is a decent anal scene with too much gagging and quacking to really live up to how hot she can be. Reina gives us something a little better and her ass fucking is hotter than I've ever seen it. The finale kills me though. I'm not a huge Nikki Hunter fan, but this scene would suck no matter who the chick is. I'm also a big Zupko fan, but this kind of joyless, ugly sex is exactly what we need less of. Leave it to the guys who can't shoot anything good, please. If every scene were as bad as the finale we would have one of the worst movies of the year.

Copyright © Roger T. Pipe

Posted By Roger, www.excaliburfilms.com | 11/1/06