Roger's Rating:

Mary Carey rules, or so she says. Don't let the bravado of the title scare you away. She has a great sense of humor and that adds some laughs to her movies. It is hard to argue with her though. After all she does have one of the best chests in all of porn. (Real or not, I have to test for myself when I meet her.) For those of you who haven't seen the MC Rules movies, they are vignette style flicks with Mary playing a number of different characters and engaging in all sorts of sexual antics with cute young girls. Sometimes the girls can match Mary and sometimes she leaves them in the dust. We will see if there are any stars in the making here. We will also see if Mary does indeed still rule. (And don't think I didn't notice that she stole my tag-line. I'll forgive her when we see shots of Mary in her Rog Rules T-Shirt.)

The first character Mary plays is Sherry, who happens to hate Mary. Though they look alike, Sherry has nothing good to say about Mary. She works in a warehouse, shipping MC videos and that just makes her even more bitter. To prove that she is better than the porn star, Sherry offers herself up to her boss, Magnus Peterson. Letting the twins free, she feeds him some delicious tit meat and bends over to let him lick a nearly untouched asshole. Magnus gives her pussy a taste and then lets her sample his salami. As she uses that talented tongue, she asks him she is better than Mary Carey and he has no choice but to say yes. The blowjobs in Kick Ass flicks are often short, but this one goes on for a bit. Having passed the oral exam, Mary moves that big ass into position and rides her rod. Butt lovers are going to really enjoy the way she works her hips to show off those cheeks. Mary turns around and keeps riding, showing off a pretty little box and making those boobs dance. The doggy looks good and gives Magnus a great target for his load. He sprays hot cream all over Sherry's buns, letting her feel what it's like to be Mary Carey.

Mary brings back her character, Skittles, the white rapper. She is in a club with one of her girls, Kelly Kline. When a fan fails to recognize them, Skittles gets pissed and orders her girl to fuck the shit out of the guy. (Um yeah, torture porn style yo.) Kelly is a pretty cute girl who spreads her legs right away and lets him slip fingers into her slit. He licks her feet and then works up to her pussy in no time. She comes face to face with his cock, strokes it in her hand and gets it nice and shiny. Though Kelly is not as hot as Mary she does have a nice body and is very vocal as she gets plugged. He wants some anal and rolls her into piledriver to pound that pooper. They go back to vag before he shoots a load all over her tightly closed lips.

Mary plays herself in the next scene. She is feature dancing and one of the young house girls comes backstage. Heather Hunt is a cute little brunette who is brand new and really a big fan. They exchange tips, get naked and then jump on the bed. Damn, Mary jumping on the bed is so hot it's scary. Eventually the smiling brunette finds her way between Mary's legs and properly displays her admiration for the star. Her fingers and tongue bring a bit smile to Mary's pretty face. They break out a pink toy and show that it can be used to do some serious damage.

Mary doesn't give young Larisa Fox or her significant other a very good build up. Mary plays their trainer and she works them pretty hard. We get to watch Mary exercise naked for a little while before she leaves the two alone in the gym. As soon as she leaves they start fucking. After watching this girl suck for a few seconds I can understand why Mary was so down on them. There isn't a lot of energy from these two, but Larisa has a cute ass. He shoots on her face, but this scene just really doesn't measure up.

Mary still loves girls and she hooks up with Delilah Stone. I had a chance to interview Delilah in Vegas this year and she is one seriously tall blonde chick. This gets Mary's blood pumping for the finale. Mary slides two fingers into Delilah and lets her taste her own juices. In return, the tall blonde has a great time playing between Mary's thighs. After a hot 69 between these two amazing blondes, they break out the toys. They do each other and then finish with some side by side vibe action.

Mary Carey does rule and because she does, more Mary would be good. She only does one boy/girl in this flick and the heat suffers because of her absence. Since the other girls aren't nearly as cute or sexy as Mary, her scenes are the best. Magnus does a good job of working that delicious little box and a more fucks like this one would have pushed MCR 4 over the top. She seems to dig chicks more than guys right now so we can at least enjoy watching her teamed with Delilah and that's a pretty damn good thing. A little more humor and sex from Ms. Carey would have been very good, but MC fans will still want to pick this one up and enjoy watching her work with Magnus and with Delilah.

Copyright © Roger T. Pipe

Posted By Roger, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/5/06 1:58 PM