They say if hold onto something long enough, it will come back in style. That certainly seems to be the case here. GenXXX has taken a collection of old John Holmes clips and put them together in this retro porn fest. These scenes actually go back beyond my earliest days of watching porn. As such, you're going to have to forgive me if I have trouble idnetifying some of these women. I've seen Holmes before of course, but mostly at the tail end of his career when he looked sick and had wood problems than George Washington's dentist, so this will be a chance for me to get a good look at the legend as well.

Sadly, there are no credits, so I am really in the dark as to who is who. Luckily, the first scene stars two women, one of them Lisa Deleew, the huge hootered red head. The other woman is a blonde I do not recongnize. Lisa does a better job handling this super sized stick with her mouth, but the blonde gets fucked first. As big as he is, Holmes is having some wood worries here, often bending his prick when trying to put it in. The focus on this scene seems to be on John pulling out, letting his dick rest on their bellies and then putting it back in again. Lisa mounts her girlfriend in 69 so that John and fuck her from behind. The whole thing ends with the two women sharing a facial in a little over six minutes. Oh yeah, and the cumshot is in slow motion, proving that this virus infecting porn today has anchient roots. (Calling Agent Mulder....)

The next scene is already half over when we move in. A blonde women is riding one cock while Holmes greases up her ass for a DP. (Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this from a film called 'Little French Maid' which had a total hottie on the cover, but a very ugly cast?) We don't see much of this woman's face, but we do see her two lower orifices get filled to the gills with cock. Hey, that's Joey Silvera on the bottom as John stretches her asshole with his pole. (Hey Mila, you want to imress people with your ass, let's see you take on a cock like this.) Joey gets a quick shot at her butt as well before the guys fire shots onto her mouth. This is a an impressive scene just to watch a woman take that rod in her ass.

Next up, a fairly pretty brunette is trying in vain to get her mouth around Holmes' pole. (What the fuck is up with all the women wearing scarves around their necks? Wa s this the 70's equivilent to tattoos?) The kind of pretty woman can only take about half of it, so the strokes are very short as John fucks her. She also only drops half way down his rod while riding him. That has to be a good workout. Another facial finish here.

A pretty ugly blonde is sucking on an equally charisma free guy when John comes in to make it a swinging three some. This looks like it could be a scene from that horrid piece of Fox crap, "That 70's Show" I don't really want to see this dog naked, but damn, clothes like that should be shed as quickly as humanly possible. Obviously thankful to be getting fucked, this woman rather loudly declares her love for cock by squealing around John's cock as her man fucks her pussy. Once it's warmed up, Holmes takes a stab at that hairy hole. (Rodney Moore, your wet dream is waiting.) Again, the two guys blow nuts onot her face, proving that Gen X film makers did not invent the facial cumshot. (They just became obsessed with it.)

The next scene is subtitled, with John getting sucked by a rather cute blonde. By the way, subtitling, "Ohhhhhh, that feels good." might be a bit unnessary. This girl has a rather nice body, with seriously fantastic tits. Hey, look at that, it's Paul Thomas jerking off in the corner as she does her best to fit that monster into her mouth. So far, this is actually the best shot scene on the disc. Whoever this woman is, she looks great with a dick in her mouth. Thomas joins the two on the bed. at last. (Maybe this is the Little French Maid movie I was thinking of. It's been 14 years since I saw it.) After the guys take turns with the fuck and suck, blondie oes for the ultimate. With Thomas in her pussy, she opens up that ass for John, taking it to the root in her backdoor. Of all the scenes so far, this one actually stands up and would have be considered well above average even in today's anal and facail obsessed porn world. The facial is shot from a bad angle, but this is still worth a look. I'd actually like to see if this woman has done other scenes.

Another chick with a scarf, Desieree Coustou perhaps, strips for John. In spite a very dated hair style, this woman impresses because of her might fine rack. Tits like are the sort women pay big buck for nowdays. She seems to rather enjoy the size that John brings to the table, sucking it hard and spreading wide to let him slip it in. She takes all he has quite easily and fucks him right back until John feeds her the protein shake. I wouldn't mind checking other scenes this woman has done either.

John's next partner is a rather thin Asian woman, Linda Wong perhaps. His cock looks even more huge in her small hands and her lips barely make it around his only half hard cock. It's surprising she take it all inside her, but just as amazing that he can fuck with a half stiff member. This is a pretty low intensity fuck, and she seems a bit disinterested through most of it. Still, the facial is pretty nice.

Another nondescript brunette joins the parade of women who fawn over the shaft of Sir Holmes. The scene is rushed and though she keeps smiling and convincingly saying how much she loves it, John is careful to barely move once he has a couple of inches in her. I'm sorry, I can't get over this, another chick with a scarf. Is this some sort of baby boomer signal that a chick swings or something? Or did 70's porn chicks shoot their H right into the jugluar? Track marks would look a little below average I guess. By the time she gets on top of him, this woman is taking about two thirds of his cock. Before it's over, she not only takes it all in her pussy, but damn near gets the whole thing into her ass. This woman makes a rather lasting impression despite a slow start. The facial rounds things out, making this the surprise of the tape, the second best scene so far.

Abandoning a game of pool, a blonde goes down on John just long enough to get him warmed up before her rather scary looking friend comes in and take over hose gobbling duties. You know, the hair and make up of this time really didn't do much for the women. Oh yeah, and neither did the scarves that both women wear. What the fuck is THAT all about? What really makes this scene suffer is the over use of extreme close ups. Both hairy pussies look pretty much the same, so zooming way the fuck in on them doesn't help much. Not bad, but I think was spoiled by that last scene into expecting a lot more.

Holmes tries a little salt and pepper action with a blonde and a creamy skinned black woman. The sister has an incredible ass, great legs, but little else to crow about. The blonde has a pretty face, a bit of a flabby middle, but of them share a love for big cock that shines through as John fucks them raw. Of course, his wood problems are really evident and you can actually see him palming a tube of fake jizz to paint the faces of this two costars. (Rog has visions of a Fox special "Secrets of porn revealed, starring a masked Ron Jeremy using the telestrator on this scene. "You see how he palms the tube of goo? It's really a mixture of water, hand lotion and some vanilla cake icing.")

This is one of those discs that should probably be in almost every collection. It's unlikely John Holms' movies will make it in tact to DVD any time soon, so this maybe the only way to actually have his legendary member on your screen in this format. The eleven scenes have a few choice sexual moments, but mostly it's some average stuff. If you like watching women taking on huge cocks, this would be a disc to keep at the center of your colletion. The women I mentioned above are all really sexy, but the rest are hampred by bad hair, bad make up and the ever present scaves. So, if you live for old school porn, no silicone, few tattoos, thick bushes and the King, John Holmes, this disc is a must own. For everyone else, it's something that really must be seen, just to see what all the hype over Holmes was about.

Copyright © Roger T. Pipe

Posted By Roger, www.excaliburfilms.com | 11/22/06