Roger's Rating:

Is there any doubt that Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy was ripe for a big Private take off? Anything that popular and that long just has to be shot through the cum-streaked prism that Private provides. Frank Thring gets to take a shot at Rings and he has cast himself as the wise old wizard. (Don't worry, he doesn't fuck until part two.) He's got some great looking Euro-babes taking the main roles, including Silvia Saint. She would probably get top billing and the lead if she weren't on board only for the veggie action in this two-part mini epic. Following the Rings story very closely, Thring has changed a few names, turned everyone into sex crazed lunatics and even given us some wild make up. So he's pretty much done what half of the fans of Rings have been doing in the privacy of their own bedrooms for years. (Hehe, what if Frodo were really a hot chick who just loved to fuck and suck all day? Yeah, would rather do an Elf or a Dwarf?)

As the old wizard makes his way to Hibbit-town, horny Sammie (Johanna) does what Hibbit's do. She finds the nearest guy and makes a meal out of his meat. There is some great blowjob footage here, but Sammie isn't the only Hibbit getting busy. There is a four-way bang going on nearby and we keep cutting back and forth. The two babes on the bridge are a bit prettier than Sammie and every bit as cock starved. There is some great standing doggy followed by white-hot DP footage. If you can handle all the jumping around then there is some very strokeable sex here.

The wizard warns pretty young Sodo (Lara Stevens) that the ring she wears around her neck is the ring of power. It must be thrown into the volcano in order to save the world. Following the mainstream movie, the Hibbits hit the road and seek out Stryder. (Saana) The beautiful blonde warrior needs a stud to fuck her and finds a willing lad at the pub. She gives some great looking head for a few seconds before spreading her legs to be fucked. Leaving her black boots on, she makes quite a pretty picture. The guy bends her over and fucks her from behind. They finish with a two-fisted handjob and a fantastic facial shot. It's a quick scene, but it's very hot.

The ring is making it hard for Sodo to enjoy anything at all. Luckily for her, they new team assembled to help her on her quest is filled with people who want to fuck her. One of them has her bent over and her long pussy lips flapping in the wind in no time. Outside, Stryder is showing her love to her royal boyfriend by sucking his slick scepter. For the second time in just a few minutes we get to see this sexy blonde girl work her mouth over a hard dick. We move back and forth between the two scenes with Sodo getting fucked in her ass and Stryder showing off her awesome body. With all the anal sex going on, we have to wonder if the beings of Outer Earth are just fucking doomed. On the other hand, if Sodo is as at saving the world as she is at taking a big facial, they will be fine. Stryder works her ass hard outside and gets another nice load.

As our heroes make their way to the volcano we find that even the bad guys have fun. Lilianne Tiger is about to torture a poor girl, but her master stops the violence and replaces it with some good old fashioned sex. The girls pass his cock back and forth. There is some fetish appeal thanks to those long black boots Lillianne has on her long legs. She gets her ass stuffed during some nice RCA. We get some A2M and then a big shot into her mouth. The cumshot isn't perfectly captured, but the overall scene is hot.

When lesbian warrior Silvia Saint is defeated and captured, the ogres turn her over to a freakish bald lesbian beast. While the two women get busy, the beasts take advantage of her pretty partner. As much fun as it is to watch this pretty girl get plugged at both ends, it is hard take my eyes off of Silvia. Even paired with a woman who is supposed to look rather repulsive, she is a superstar in every sense of the word. We get a great finish as the two beasts blast off on the pretty brunettes face.

This movie is tons of fun for Rings lovers. It's a decent adaptation with some funny name changes. On some levels I likes Whore of the Rings from Heatwave better, but you can't argue with this cast. Lara is great looking, Silvia lights up even her veggie scenes and everywhere you look we get hot chicks who take it up the ass. This is the kind of movie you can watch as a couple, laugh with your lady and still manage to sneak in some very hot sex. It isn't the best Private feature in the last few years, but it is worth a look for anyone who likes costumes, outdoor sex, ass-fucked Euro babes or who just thinks that after nearly 13 hours of Rings movies, we really, really need another hour and half of the X-rated version.

Copyright © Roger T. Pipe

Posted By Roger, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/5/06 1:58 PM