You know, I don't know what to make of this movie at first. On the cover we have Houston dressed in a stars and stripes outfit and holding a torch like the Statue of Liberty. On the surface, this might be a post 9-11 flag waving feature. Of coursee it could also be a difficult quiz show. Who has had more work done, Lady Liberty or Houston? Don't let the red, white & blue cover and catchy title fool you, this isn't any sort of tribute to our freedoms. Nope, America is the name of a fictitious porn star, played by Houston, who is persecuted for just being a porn actress. It has been a year since the WTC fell, so clearly it's time to go back to the pre-911 Bush bashing. Why am I certain that this movie is a guaranteed AVN nominee no matter how bad it is?

Joel Lawrence plays the attorney trying to get his infamous client off. His opening speech to Houston is the second funniest thing I've seen since the movie started. (Houston's tragic eight lip job is the funniest.) He tells her that she's a target because she's too accepted by mainstream America and the new "administration" is out to get her. Yeah, the FBI is going to knock down Jenna Jameson's door any day now. Fuck on film, go to jail. His job will be to convince a jury that she's done nothing obscene. (Do the lips count, becaus if those aren't obscene, then nothing is.) After over ten minutes of some of the most preachy, inane dialog from Lawrence and prosecutor Ron Jeremy, we finally get to the first sex scene. Before we do, a couple of points. First, someone needs to hold Ron down and make him get a haircut. Dude, that is horrible on Al Sharpton and even worse on you. Second, does anyone think this is remotely original? Vivid did this exact same movie with their Vivid on Trail line from a decade ago.

Back to the action. Houston has on her full flag garb as she goes dowm on Mark Wood. (Note-at this point Mrs. Rog had to leave the room in hysterics, barely able to mutter through the laughter "I can't look at her lips a moment longer, I just can't) The Jurassic One gives Mark the full treatment from those bee stung tragedies. It seems that Houston has added some ink since the last time I saw her. The jury watches as Mark moves her red white and blue bottoms out of the way to drill her well worn money maker. He drops a big load all over her face. It's not exactly great stroke material, but is it obscene?

Poor America might be worried about going to the slam, but that doesn't stop her from setting up a veggie affair for later that night. Continuing with the less than stellar looking cast theme, Alexa Rae and Jessica hook up for some girl on girl bikini loving. When properly made up, Jessica isn't terrible looking. Sadly, they didn't do a good enough job for this scene. She is every bit as hard to watch as her co-star making this as dearly to look at as it is flat and lifeless. As I watch these two do each other in soapy water of a blowup tub I am suddenly struck with the realization that I can't wait for the next recycled courtroom dialog scene to begin.

Stuffy prosecutor Jeremy is blowing off steam in a bar. This scene allows Lawrence another pithy dialog scene about prohibition. You know, Joel really does look the part and he is great with his dialog. Jeremy is also quite good, playing this straight and doing a great job. He just doesn't look the part. Swap them and make him a too-hip free speech lawyer and things would have been less ridiculous.

Proving the point that you can never have too many average looking girls in one movie, our next is Aria. She is a witness for the prosecution since she has been in one of America's flicks. This scene has Aria working with Brian Surewood and Mark Davis. On an American flag sheet, the guys focus mainly on her ass. Mark gives her a choke which is something he seems to do every scene these days. After a quick and fairly high energy DP, they shoot all over her face. Normally this would be an average scene, but in this movie it stands out as the best of a bat lot.

Two of the jurors discuss the case in a bar that night. Nina Ferrari and Tyce Bune exchange less than brilliant thought before retiring to the bedroom to fuck like porn stars. (See, Tyce could have played the prosecutor and looked the part.) Nina is easily the best looking woman in this movie so far and she continues to look good as she looses all of her clothes and starts sucking cock. We are nearly an hour into the movie and I finally have a scene that I can't say anything unflattering about. You don't know how happy I am to see Nina. The sex is nicely shot and she rides dick with a great deal of energy. He pushes her legs back as far as they will go and slams her until he can shoot a load on her face. The next scene is more predictable than the plot of the average "Three's Company" episode. Jeremy, the buttoned up prosecutor, has a hooker come to visit him. (He's also a heavy drinker apparently.) Paris plays the hooker and she's the girl from this cast I would most like to fuck. She's a cute thing with a tight little pussy and real tits. (Is that allowed in this movie?) Her scene would probably be the best, but Ronny is just so fat these days. It's really sad. Paris shows about as much energy as a ten dollar hooker as she lets him pump away on her. Hey, I like Ron, he's a great fucking guy, but he's just not able to bring much to the table sexually these days. Even his dick seems bored as he has to pinch it off to stay stiff enough to fuck this really cute young thing. This sex scene is as uninspired as the tired dialog scenes and nearly as forgettable.

Houston finally gets her change to act when she takes the stand. (Oh please, someone ask her to state her age under oath. Anything less than forty two and she can be locked up for perjury.) Here it comes, the wrap yourself in the flag monologue. The music builds in the background as she goes on about freedom. (I hate to bring up the lips again, but is it possible that those things make it tough for her to enunciate? Bureaucracy should not come out Burracracy.) After her testimony, she goes home with her attorney to fuck him. She hopes that the jury is not filled with "communist lunatics." Careful now, that goes against the whole message of this movie. Freedom is a lefty value and don't you forget it. Lawrence has really done a great job of acting so far, but in this scene he earns his stripes. He actually acts like he wants to be fucking Houston more than anything. I guess if you stay between her legs and never actually look at her face, you don't have to wonder if someone would choose to look this way. Houstone suck him off, gets fucked from behind and even lets him plow her ass. With a big blast on the face, it's all done but the posturing.

Oh man, where do I begin with this one? The story is unoriginal and preachy to the point of absurdity. It is horribly miscast, but fairly well acted. Joel Lawrence does a really good job with his dialog and he looks the part. Ron Jeremy also handles his lines well, but it's the most poorly cast person in the flick. Make him cut that hair or cast him as the bartender of freedom. Houston doens't do a terrible job with her lines, but isn't it time someone put a stop to her as on screen talent? (Or at least banned her from further facial surgery?) Sexually, Nina and Tyce turn in a pretty nice scene. She and Paris are the hot women in the flick, but Paris is mis-used in a dreary scene with Jeremy. I like him a lot, but he just seems totally disinterested in even keeping his dick hard these days. Aria doesn't turn me on that much, but her scene in this one has some great moments. Beyond these women, the rest of the cast just doesn't have it. Houston, Alexa and Jessica don't do a thing for me. Mike Quasar has done some things right with this movie, primarily shooting sex that is a step above normal feature sex in term of heat. (If only he had used a cast that was even half way good looking.) This movie was a lot better when it was done the first time, by Paul Thomas, with a hotter cast and a better script. It's not original, it's not very hot, it's paranoid industry political claptrap and it's a fucking stone cold lock from some AVN nominations.

Copyright © Roger T. Pipe

Posted By Roger, www.excaliburfilms.com | 11/1/06